so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do vagina's smell?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
