Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
