So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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