I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
