the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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