I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We just shotgunned beers for America
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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