Pregnant stripper...not hot.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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