Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
