I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
