I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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