There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
