Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
