He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
