Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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