Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
