i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
