can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
