Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
