Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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