she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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