Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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