It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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