Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
