Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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