Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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