Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
