We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
