I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
