Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
