id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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