I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
