Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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