Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
