i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The air taste purple.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
