Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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