is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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