And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
