hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
