Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
