It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
