I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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