We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found your dick twin last night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
