Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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