So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i out mim tonsoeep
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
