Do you still have your period?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
