I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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