I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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