Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
