super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
