It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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