when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
