Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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